Hey all,
Fearless readers, I am the other contributing writer for this blog piggybacking on the success that should soon follow. I'm joining on because I love beer, metal, and chaos magick. To rip off my best fiend and Other who writes here, I'll do some definitions:
1) Beer - A delicious, ancient beverage that gives you courage, consumes your time, ranges from rice and corn soda to finely crafted ales, and should be only handled by microbreweries.
2) Metal - A form of expression that is less genre and more life choice. While the bulk of this blog will be about death/black/sludge/stoner/drone metal, you can find all kinds of metal:
a) Power metal - For dudes (and ONLY dudes as women are not found nearby) who live in a world of cold steel and sorcery...aka the D&D guy from Reno 911.
b) Hair metal - Not even really metal. Period. Except Motley Crue because, well, I'm draconian like that. Also, Tommy Lee fingered Pamela Anderson when she was hot.
c) Sludge metal - Fat and slow. Period.
d) Progressive metal - For guys who like good instrumentality and, instead of wizards and swords, like jazz and feeling superior to other metal fans.
e) Groove metal - Pantera.
f) Stoner metal - Guys who love reefer and Orange amps.
g) Drone metal - Guitar noise that meditates on metal itself.
h) NWOBHM - Awesomeness in its purest form. Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and Accept should give you a boner because they are both awesome and they also wear spandex and leather to appeal to your latent homosexuality.
i) Death metal - Guys who watch too many horror movies and sing about autopsies, different variations of female mutilation, and sometimes satan.
j) Black metal - Dudes from the Frozen North that really don't like Christianity and opt for a lifestyle of wearing corpse paint and posing with battle axes. They also REALLY love Satan and the Norse Pantheon.
3) Chaos Magic - A variation on Neuro-Linguistic Programming that takes the core of the past schools of magick and strips away the bullshit rituals. It's focused around getting shit done, strengthening your Will, and reprogramming your brain to be more affective in the world by understanding your True Will and externalizing your doubts/fears to expel them from your psyche. Some people are completely supernatural about it but most are very materially-oriented towards it.
Reviews of beer, reviews of classic and new metal albums, and information on chaos workings and techniques. Welcome to our world!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
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3 comments:
You forgot about Christian death metal. I kid you not. I know a band that claims to play this. They opened up for my brother's band at a show I was MCing.
Stryper is the perfect example. To their defense, some Christian metal bands are pretty good (Norma Jean, Demon Hunter) but they lack one element: an adherence to cartoonish violence and satanic posturing. Lame.
oh man... I'd forgotten about stryper.
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